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Life after University

Please note: this post is the ramblings and justification of a recent graduate. In a year, two years, ten years, I might be tooting a different tune. Bare with me while I struggle to leave education and enter the real world.

I existed before going to university, I survived during university, but I'm worried about how I'll be after university and in 'adulthood'. 

Brief history: I always knew I was going to go to uni. My parents/family spoke about it my whole life. I went to university, I've completed two degrees. I'm considering going back to uni in my middle/long-term future. I went to university straight after finishing college and did my degrees back-to-back without a 'break' period. 

Now I've finished university. I was ready to finish uni. I wanted to finish and stop the process of education. I needed a break - more then a summer could give to me - but I thrive in a system of education and in an environment that I can learn in. 

The scariest part of leaving university and the safety net of education is; the idea that you NEED to know exactly what you're doing when you're going to do it, and how you're going to do it. Leaving university and saying "I'm just going to work in the bakery for a bit longer" sounds rubbish. But, I can't afford to work for free to build up my client list and pay rent/bills at the same time. 

Is it OK to not know what you're going to do after uni?

I'm sure your family members will say no. "You've just got yourself in thousands of pounds worth of debt." But the reality is, that it's near on impossible to find a graduate job. Unless you're training to specifically become something (i.e. nurse, doctor, vet, mechanic, designer, etc.) But when you do a course out of love for a subject, it becomes difficult and confusing. Up until now, I've been a photographer since I was around 14. I started because I was fascinated by photography, and have continued on. But I never wanted to become a working photographer. It's a difficult career choice and, quite honestly, it would kill my love for art. 

The long-term goal for me is to get a Masters (possible work towards a Doctorate at some point) and teach. I could've got my teaching degree straight after uni, then work in schools/colleges, but then I would never leave the education system. A break is healthy. And will allow me to exist as an adult, without the boundaries of summer holiday vacations. Also, I've run out of government funding - my masters is going to cost ME money and I want to have some stability in my life first.

The biggest factor is I don't want to teach where I grew up. I don't want to teach my friends children. I don't want to work with my old lecturers. I need distance from where I was a child/teenager/student.

So for now, I'm living at home (still paying a hefty amount of rent), working full-time, and trying to make my first baby steps into adulthood. I'm not alone in saying this, but all graduates (minus the lucky b*ggers who got graduate jobs) are feeling fear over leaving university.

Kay xx


Goodreads Rating 4 out of 5 stars.

"In the last days before her death, Nel called her sister. Jules didn’t pick up the phone, ignoring her plea for help. Now Nel is dead. They say she jumped. And Jules has been dragged back to the one place she hoped she had escaped for good, to care for the teenage girl her sister left behind. But Jules is afraid. So afraid. Of her long-buried memories, of the old Mill House, of knowing that Nel would never have jumped. And most of all she’s afraid of the water, and the place they call the Drowning Pool . . ."

It took me forever to read this book. Almost two months. Shameful. But the Part One didn't grab my attention. And it wasn't until I forced myself to read this book and got past Part One, that I started to enjoy it. I, also, particularly enjoy how everything comes to a neat end. (Gone Girl, why couldn't you come to a sufficient ending?). It is a thriller, (i think), and explores the story around Nel, Katie & Lauren's suspicious deaths. It explores domestic abuse, sexual assault, death (duh), family life, teenagers, and everything else. Although it explores some triggering subjects, it's not too deep and doesn't go into anything graphic - don't feel like the book is based around abuse - although, if you don't feel like you can handle it, please don't read it. 

The part of the review with spoilers...

stop reading if you don't want spoilers...
last chance...

Firstly, Patrick Townsend makes me want to be sick. His language. His presence. His manipulation. I just can't believe how much I hated it. And from early on in the book. He's everything I hate in one person. Sexist. Homophobic. Rude. Racist (probably). A first-class a-hole. 
Secondly, the only part it leaves hanging is Mark Henderson's death. Do they find him? What happens in the moments directly after? Does Lena get found out? I. Need. To. Know.
Thirdly, I realised I have more questions, does Lena find out who her Dad is? Does she meet Robbie? Does she even want to meet Robbie?
Fourthly, I want a book, say 10 years in the future, and to find out what everyone does afterwards? Does Sean come clean? Where does Sean go? How is Helen? Are the Whittakers living a more peaceful life? Has Lena moved back? I just want the future.


*Insert classic 'Hello October' Heading here*

Damn. That 'break' lasted a lot longer then I expected.

Let's catch up...

I have been non-stop with work. 5 days a week is taking the biscuit, but coming out of university - I need the money to keep up with rent without the glory of my student loan in September.

I have been trying to use at least one of my days off (I get two in a week), to meet up with friends. This does mean I'm 'missing out' on valuable sitting around and relaxing time, but working without seeing friends is really lonely. (Also, friends fancy meeting up for a coffee? I can bring Keira if you want doggy cuddles?)

Also, had the joy of travelling up to London for a couple of days to do a barista course with All Press.  Yes, please & thank-you. This girl managed to graduate - thinking about writing a post about graduation breakdowns? And had cuddles with my four-legged love (pictured above).

That finishes September for me. Work. Work. Work. Friends. Work. Work. Home day. Repeat.

Now, onto October...

I'm so happy it's Autumn and even happier that it's October! 

My favourite season and the last festive period until the BIG C. YES!

I have some more 'personal' goals for this month. I want to focus on having consistency outside of work. Making sure I have some order to my life, and I'm not playing catch-up on my days off. 

01. Blog again! Ignoring this post, I'm going to be posting every Sunday. Back to one post a week, and I'm going to make time to write and shoot for them. 

02. Make a routine. A flexible routine. That I can use daily to fit into work life. Somedays I start work at 9am, others 10am, sometimes even 11am - and then I can finish between 4pm and 7pm. So my routine needs to be flexible, but I need to have one in place to keep up with my home life. 

03. Photography. I haven't managed to charge the batteries for my camera this month. I'm missing out on the beautiful Autumn Harvest because I'm overthinking and freaking out about what I should be creating - again, I think I'm going to write a post on this meltdown too. 

04. Read, again. I binged through about 5 books one weekend in September, and I haven't picked up a book since. I want reading to become regular and a reliable part of my life again. Plus my tbr shelf is OVERFILLING. (Again, Again, a post for my tbr this month?)

05. I'm becoming reliable and making plans each week with a friend(s), but I need to make a conscious effort to meet up with friends who I don't always call on, but I know I want to be better friends with! 

06. Enjoy Autumn & October. When I'm planning my days off, I want to do something that celebrates the season, I want to enjoy a hot chocolate while watching a cosy film, I want to drink PSL and be basic, I want to go for crisp morning walks, I want to enjoy Autumn/October. 

What are your goals for October/Autumn? I'm going to be trying to upload daily (if not every other day) onto my Instagram this month, so follow me on there!

I guess I'll see you on Sunday for more rambling from yours truly. 

Kay xx