An apology to photography

I used to adore photography. I was constantly trying to recreate others work, trying to create something new, wanting to show it to everyone. Then I did a degree and started to feel too much pressure from projects and deadlines. Then I did another degree and struggled for 18 months to love photography. But then on Tuesday, someone said to me 'if you're a professional pianist, you don't stop practising. So why are you only taking photographs for projects?' and before this person told me to shoot as much as I could and keep practising. But ignored them. Since Tuesday I've shot over 10 shoots in three days. I'm constantly thinking about what I can take a photograph of next. And I don't doubt many, if not all, of the photographs, are sh!t. But I have that buzz from doing something you love.

I've done several digital shoots, one roll of 120 film (which I NEVER shoot - because I'm a wimp), and currently four rolls of 35mm. I find this amazing, for ages I was only doing a shoot after planning and getting confirmation from a lecturer that the idea was OK. 

Because I'm unlikely to put these photographs on my Instagram (@kayleighbicklephotography), I'm going to gather a few and chuck 'em into this post. 

(If you didn't guess I'm looking at flower for my project)

Here's to taking photographs (or creating your relevant creativity) for the sake of creating.

- Kayleigh Bickle

21, Female, UK, Member of the National Trust

At 21, I'm a member of the National Trust.

I joined the National Trust to help towards a photography project over the next few months. And I cannot express how much joy the whole thing has brought to me. 

It's forcing me to drive the car and go places, Lanhydrock is only 30 mins away from Home, but it was a place I have never had to drive myself to before. 

Keira is getting new walks and places to run around (bringing Keira does mean we can't go into the houses, but that's not my most significant interest - I'm there for the gardens/estates.) I love seeing how excited about new walks and watching her run around like crazy sniffing all the new scents, meeting new dogs, and then she's so sleepy in the evenings and just wants cuddles.

Finally, it's great for your mental health. There was something so lovely about leaving the house at 10am, on a Monday, to walking around a country estate in the sunshine. 

Unfortunately, the gardens don't open again until 10th February - however, you're allowed to walk around the general estate for free. Side note: you do have to pay for parking at Lanhydrock (£2.00 for one hour, £4.00 for all day) BUT, it's free if you're a member of the National Trust!

Let's talk about Instagram

I bloody love Instagram.

It's simple. It mostly involves scrolling through endless photographs.

I'm a visual human. Whether that's literally looking at photographs or physically seeing a list in front of my eyes. Instagram makes social media so simple for me and doesn't involve too much brain power to scroll through.

I'm not a Facebook fan -mostly because no one can spell correctly "has eny1 got pan I can burrow?" - Looking at mothers on Facebook. Also, hate the word 'LOL.'

I use Twitter, a lot, but I have to be in a particular mood for it.

Naturally, I'm a fan of Pinterest - but only on the desktop.

That leaves me with Instagram. Naturally, I enjoy taking photographs too - which I suppose helps.

Currently I run three Instagram pages: my personal account (@kayleighbickle), my dog's account [don't judge me - she's adorable and it keeps all my favourite pet accounts together] (@thecornishstaffy), and finally my photography account [which I'm genuinely useless at keeping up-to-date with] (@kayleighbicklephotography).

I got a little bit obsessed with gaining 'likes' though, and since giving up on hashtags and creating photographs to please people. I love Instagram again and get more engagement from people I'm interested in.

Here are my 'tips'/just how I use Instagram:

1) DON'T USE HASHTAGS. I know they can be useful. But I just used to get 'likes' from spam accounts, and it made the photo feel empty to me. Sometimes I don't even write a caption anymore.

2) VSCO CAM. I edit all of my images in the exact same way and treat my Instagram Page as a little photographic diary. Although I don't tend to post photographs of when I'm meeting up with friends/family, I keep it to just being homey and straightforward stuff that brings me joy. Mostly Keira. Or an outfit I quite like.

3) UPLOAD DAILY. Not to reach more people, or to gain more likes. But because I enjoy creating a photograph to upload every day. Admittedly, I don't upload every-single-day, but I try to almost every day - and I do not beat myself up for not uploading.

4) USE INSTAGRAM STORIES / REPLY TO PEOPLE'S STORIES. Some people get a little message from me every few days about something they've posted on stories. And that is where I get a lot of my joy from Instagram - directly interacting with others.

5) HAVE A FEW DAYS AWAY. 100% if you're feeling pressure from the world shown on Instagram, delete the app, forget about it, and come back when you're ready to - which may never happen - and remember to do what's right for you.

All of this being said, I'm pretty regular at uploading on my personal account and Keira's account. But truly appalling at uploading on my photography account. SO through all your tips for me for running a photography/business account. Because I have no idea.

- Kayleigh Bickle

P.S. If you fancy leave your Instagram account below and I'll give you a follow!

Ramblings #1

I don't write and post on the same day.

But I'm having the Monday-est of Monday's. It's all very clichè and annoying.

I got the wrong time for my module briefing in uni today - I was two hours late. I missed the bus into uni, a bus that is always 15 minutes late. And then my car wouldn't start. (I'm writing this post while waiting for RAC to phone me back with a time.)

I resorted to scrolling through Pinterest (follow me here) and just found a bunch of quotes that spoke to me, and felt very appropriate for my Monday.

A gentle reminder to you (and myself) that this will all pass and will be a decent memory soon.

- Kayleigh Bickle

2018/January Bullet Journal

What's that? January is almost over and I'm only now posting my January spreads?

I started this bullet journal in September, so this is my first time at creating a yearly spread of any type. I do only have 100 pages left in my bujo, so chose not to go too crazy with the yearly spreads.

I introduced some new spreads, some old spreads, and some reliable ones for January. I knew that I was going to be handing in my dissertation in the second week of January and, also, going away in the middle for a few days. I find that January isn't a productive month for me, and the changes happen in February when I get myself together. 

Introduction page to 2018 | Yearly Overview

 January 2018 | February 2018

 March 2018 | April 2018

 2018 Resolutions | Reading Tracker for 2018

 Monthly Expenses/Tracker | Blank Page - which I'm currently using to plan a 'day' plan

 Brain Dump: [P]hotography, [U]niversity, [H]ome, [M]e

 January Intro Page | 30 Days of Yoga Tracker

 January Monthly Spread

 Incomplete Moodboard | Gratitude/Line-a-day Log

Driving Tracker | Social Media Log

2018 Introduction Page & Yearly Overview

Initially, I didn't put an annual overview in my bujo, I didn't feel that I would ever look back over it. However, it felt right to complete my yearly spreads with one and allows me to view the whole year -if necessary. 

January/February/March/April month-to-a-page

I'm using these pages to write a brief line about what I have done that day. "Work (10.00-3.00)" "Uni" "Home Day. Washing. Tidy House".

2018 Resolutions

I find it really useful to have my goals/resolutions written down somewhere. I try to make seasonal resolutions. However, I find it helpful to have a 'master' list.

2018 Reading Challenge

At the start of my bullet journal, I have the running list of books I read/started in 2017. And this year I aim to read 30 books 'for fun' - not including any books for my university courses.

2018 Expenses

I'm going to *try* to track my income and outcome for 2018. I'm rubbish at physically following my expenses though. So I'm not holding out much hope for this spread.

Brain Dump

I cannot remember who I saw create a beautiful, minimal braindump spread. But they merely put the corresponding letter, to the area of their life, at the top and wrote master to-do lists!

January Introduction

I love a monthly introduction page, This month I've made a little monthly calendar, wrote down five goals for the month, and a word to guide my month. I want to have a word for every month, to help me focus and work towards something for the month ahead. 

30 Days of Yoga

One of my goals is to do 30 yoga practices in January, so I created a little tracker to help me follow along with Yoga With Adriene's January practice. 

Monthly Spread

I always create the same monthly spread. I find it really useful to see the month as a whole and refer to it almost daily. 

Moodboard

I haven't created one yet. However, I love the use of mood-boards in petite_glooms bujo spreads. Also, thinking about changing to the A6 leuchturrm after this one - heavily inspired by her gorgeous bujos. 

Gratitude Log

I have worked on gratitude logs on and off throughout my bujo's, but January feels like a month where I will be able to keep up to date with it. And have a lot of goals and time to be grateful for. 

Driving Tracker

I'm really struggling to drive. Not the physical driving, but having a reason to drive. It's horribly expensive for me to drive to uni. I live walking distance from the local shop. And all my friends live in cities or close enough for me to walk. So I'm going to attempt to write down where I drive to, and this will hopefully encourage me to drive more for fun?

Social Media Log

I'm fairly active on social media. Especially my personal Instagram account (here), but I tend to forget about my Photography account (here) and - don't laugh - my dogs account. So to pay more attention to when I upload, I'm going to jot down when and what for January.

I'm playing around with how I create weekly/daily spreads. So haven't chosen to include any in this post. I have not used a habit tracker this month, and am working on including them in my weekly/daily spreads instead. 

- Kayleigh Bickle

No-Spend November Round-Up

Remember how I went on about documenting my 'No-Spend November' and then got really busy with uni? 

Well, I'm finally writing my roundup on the whole thing.

Overall, I'm happy to have taken part in No-Spend November. I made sure everyone knew so that people could hold me accountable. I genuinely believe that if I hadn't of been more conscious of my spending, I would've struggled to pay rent, etc., after paying for my car insurance in full. 

I did struggle in the first few days, I didn't realise how often I go to shops websites, or just quickly pop into my local Tesco to buy food when I'm too lazy to cook lunch. However, once I got into the habit of thinking about no-spending and remembering the boundaries I set out for myself - it became straightforward. A new top doesn't come under bills, uni, or car expenses - don't buy it then. 

I did worry about putting fuel in my car because I still wanted to drive frequently after passing my test - but I didn't want to be spending vast amounts of money on fuel. At the start of the month, I filled my car up and was able to make that last the whole month to take me to and fro from work. One day I didn't have any food for a packed lunch, and I had to leave before 7am, so I did end up buying one meal out of my No-Spending. I kept it cheap and made sure not to continue spending money afterward. Another way I got around buying myself the odd treat, was using tip money, from work, to by myself a donut or something after my shift. However, if I didn't make enough money in tips, I wasn't allowed a 'treat.' 

I did want to keep track of my spending/savings/income/outcome/etc., but I found it really difficult to remember and then a few days would pass and I would've forgotten how much I spent on something. If I were to do a No-Spend month again, I would work harder on finding a way to track my income and outcome. Also, along with the same lines, I would set myself a goal of how much money I can spend, and how much money I want to save. 

I am considering doing another No-Spending month soon, I'm thinking February. Logically, it should be an easy month for me to save money in. 

Have you ever considered setting yourself a spending ban? Or have you gone through with one? Let me know how you got on in the comments below.

- Kayleigh Bickle

Hello 2018 & my goals

Dissertation: Complete.

I've wanted to write blog posts for ages, but I knew I would get sucked in and wouldn't concentrate on my dissertation. But my dissertation is done. Good-bye, farewell, hope to never see that again.

To get back into the swing of blogging (hate it when people say 'swing of blogging'), I thought I would share my 2018 goals. 

I love setting goals. And am always sucked into creating a few for 2018. They tend to be vague, and not so much about a physical goal. But here are my 2018 goals...

1) Take more photos. Since choosing to study photography, I've fallen out of love with photography. I'm considering downgrading from a DSLR to something more compact in the future. 

2) Forgive & Forget. I'm the worst at holding onto things that happened in the past and know this is bringing me down from growing in the future. This year, I need to remember that things happen for a reason, and life keeps moving. 

3) Friendship. I'm awful at saying I'm going to message someone, 6 months pass by, and I've still not messaged them. I think about my good friends daily, but I'm so weak at keeping up with friendships. A note to my friends, if I've said we should meet up, or to come round a meet Keira, send me a message to get my ass into gear!

4) Make memories. Every month I want to do something a little out of my comfort zone, that I know 'normal' people would do to create memories. Going to gigs, taking trips, etc.

5) Trust myself. 

6) Learn Lightroom. Everyone raves on about how much I'll enjoy using Lightroom, but I never sit down and take the time to learn my way about it. This year, I will!

7) Read more. I say this every year. My goal is to read 30 books this year - excluding academic reading.

8) Monthly challenges. Whether that be doing yoga every day for a month. Doing a photo challenge. Something that causes me to engage with something, every day for a month.

9) Tattoo/Piercing. I keep saying I'm going to get another tattoo or piercing, and just let life get in the way. I think about it daily but never book the bloody appointments.

10) Work on my arms & self-love. A couple of summers ago, I worked on like my legs. Being confident enough to wear skirts and shorts, this didn't involve working out or anything, just accepting them. I want to do the same for my arms this year, I hate them. They flab around, are a horrible shape, and I would much rather keep them hidden. But I don't want to be buying clothes based on how my arms look this year.

11) Throw kindness around like confetti. I used to scoff at this phrase. But, honestly, it's something I want to do more. 

What are your goals for 2018? Or do you find it easier setting seasonal goals?

- KayleighBickle